Nothing unreal exists."
"The Soul is in a state of grace forever.
Man's reality is only his Soul.
Therefore, man is in a state of grace forever"
~ A Course In Miracles ~
Since then over the years I have experimented with many traditions of thought. I don't like the concepts of commitment and time. Every time I commit to something, I change my mind almost instantly. Time is a big issue with me. I simply cannot stick with the boundaries of time. When I used to work for Indian companies, I got screamed at by my bosses for always being late. In those days Indian bosses screamed as a way of getting discipline!! Later, when India opened up to multinational companies, I had the greatest time of my life working for three major foreign companies at different times namely "Gillette", "Woodward Governor" and "Seureca Space" . They were more polite and patient - they waited for my evaluation where I was made aware of my shortcomings especially about my concept of timing and needless to say my salary increments definitely got a bit affected. Now that I am a "Housewife" by choice since the last ten years, I am more late than ever for everything!! I not only have a problem with time, I'm also a chronic procrastinator but that's a different story for another blog!! I am at the best age of my life - 55 years - more alive spiritually than I ever was and have learned quite a bit about how to use my weakness as a tool of learning for myself.
When I discovered "A Course In Miracles" one of the things that threw me off was the workbook. It was very eewwwww!!!! I can't stick with a 365 day calendar schedule!!! Believe me, I tried. After a week I was back to my exasperated self. But as I read more and more of it, I learned that I could use time as a tool for learning too in my own way. I did'nt need to stick with one lesson a day - I could do one lesson for three days or four days, till I became clear in my understanding. And that is how I have been reading this amazing Writing over the last eight years - at my own pace. I don't plan to be "teacher' in the way the world understands the word, so there's no pressure. I plan to be a student and a teacher in my own way - learn each lesson, learn each concept and practice it and in the process shine my light. I can only teach what I learn and since I am always learning and practicing, I am always teaching 'in my own way'.
"Miracles enables man to heal the sick and raise the dead because he made sickness and death himself and can abolish both. YOU are a miracle, capable of creating in the likeness of your Creator. Everything else is only your own nightmare and does not exist. ONLY THE CREATIONS OF LIGHT ARE REAL.". ..... This made JESUS absolutely accessible to me. It enabled me to see the potential within me beyond the law of cause and affect. It enabled me to really SEE Jesus as walking side by side with me and not that poor suffering soul whose death on the cross was ordained by his father! When I was a kid going to church and seeing a crucified Jesus always sunk my spirits the moment I let my fingers touch the holy water at the lovely little marble font. It made me fearful - so fearful that I did not want to know God - this deity who is out there waiting for me to hang on the cross too!! This fear, coupled with my own personal drama of abandonment and being left in the convent as an orphan throughout my school life convinced me that I was very much in the "punishment line". I sinned (I don't remember when) and that poor man Jesus, is suffering for my sins. OMG! don't even talk about the guilt and shame I suffered. By the time I left school at the age of 16, I was more of a mess than I ever was. Every belief, every thought carved my life of unhealthy and painful relationships and more.
And so, when I read point 25 'The word "sin" should be changed to "lack of love" because "sin" is a man-made word with threat connotations which he made up himself. No REAL threat is involved anywhere. Nothing is gained by frightening yourselves, and it is very destructive to do so". ... I burst into a clap in my mind "Alleluia! Now you're talking Jesus"!!!
Since then, every other Non-Duality Teaching has helped me to dive deeper and deeper into the belief that I Am Light. I Am Perfect and Whole. I Am not this miserable sinner that needs to hang on the cross for her 'sins'. As a result of seeking and searching I have found my own True Path - the Path that involves ALL Paths. I do not restrict myself any longer to one religion or one tradition. I take the cream from other spiritual Thoughts. I do not apologize for my beliefs of a God that most of the people I know, do not understand nor do they want to know. In their opinion I'm the soul who has "lost her way and needs prayers to be 'saved'".
Earlier I used to try to fit and tailor my spiritual responses to appease and please another. Now I don't. I do not get into debates. The ones who start debating are the ones who are least serious about wanting to know God. I do not understand complicated explanations, opinions and high 'funda' sermons. My mind can understand simply that everything is Love and "God Alone" is a mantra that helps me to retrace my steps when I falter and fall. While I appreciate and have the highest regard for another person's life changing experiences, I tend not to follow the course of people who teach based on their experiences alone. Anyone who can take me beyond my body and the material and teach me from there, I am fully present and available. I reserve my energy and time for conversation and dialogues with the Souls who are really in this world to change it by just creating a sacred space for connections and mutual sharing. Such souls do not judge. They just allow other people to be who they wish to be at any given time. There are such people who exist and I am happy to say, I definitely know a few and I love them for their availability. ♥ I see all of Life as my teacher. My pots and pans are my teachers. My domestic chores are my teachers. My dog is one of my biggest teachers. Our plants are my teachers. I am inspired by all of my teachers and I am inspired by truly inspiring teachers. You can read more about that here: http://lavinajournalinglivingmoments.blogspot.in/2014/05/my-relationship-with-course-in-miracles.html
I am sure as I mature spiritually, I will drop all the do's and don'ts eventually - but right now they help me to have a kind of discipline in my life and not be tossed around.
Here are few profound thoughts. Enjoy! ♥ ♥ ♥
♥ The seeker is he who is in search of himself. Give up all questions except one: 'Who am I?' After all, the only fact you are sure of is that you are. The 'I am' is certain. The 'I am this' is not. Struggle to find out what you are in reality. To know what you are, you must first investigate and know what you are not. Discover all that you are not - body, feelings, thoughts, time, space, this or that - nothing, concrete or abstract, which you perceive can be you. The very act of perceiving shows that you are not what you perceive. The clearer you understand that on the level of mind you can be described in negative terms only, the quicker will you come to the end of your search and realize that you are the limitless being. ~ Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
♥ Do not go to the garden of flowers! O friend! go not there; In your body is the garden of flowers. Take your seat on the thousand petals of the lotus, and there gaze on the infinite beauty. ~ Kabir, the 15th century Indian Mystic.